Roll With It

September 8, 2007

stormI’ve come to dread the rain and the cold. Just knowing that winter is around the corner is filling me with fear, because as bad as the Fibro’s been this summer, I know from experience that it’s going to get worse.

This is a new phenomenon with me, this weather-phobia. I’m also becoming a little activity-phobic, knowing in advance that a long bike ride or a strenuous day of yard work will do me in. If you knew that every time you walked out the door, a giant lion was going to leap from the bushes and bite you…well, eventually you’d just subscribe to Netflix, make some popcorn, and happily settle in to being agoraphobic.

I refuse to give in to it completely, so I compromise with it. A little less yard work, a shorter ride, canned soup instead of the big dinner I was planning. But the weather, well… I haven’t learned how to control that yet. If I find out, I’ll let you know.

Today I heard the roll of thunder announce an approaching storm. I used to love thunderstorms–the sounds, the blazing lightening, the rain against the windows. Now all I can think of is, “Arghhhhh! More body pain!” And it’s true. The weather makes me ache like crazy, all the way to my bones. This time, however, I decided to get all happy about it. I said to myself, “Oh boy! A thunderstorm! Yippee!” I got a book and curled up on the sofa, snoozed a little, and listened to the beautiful sounds of the great outdoors. I tried everything I could think of to roll with it, and to see if positive thinking and self-nurturing would help. The hardest part was pushing away the programming within me that tells me that I’m lazy and self-indulgent for not “DOING.” I wrestled with that for quite some time, but it’s realizing all of these things that are a part of the process for me.

In the end, I hurt just as much as ever, but it actually did help a bit to keep the dread and fear at bay. Soon, I’ll practice saying, “Minus twenty degree weather! Snowflakes! Yippee!”

I’m going to learn to roll with all of this. Like thunder.

4 Responses to “Roll With It”

  1. ouiser Says:

    Thank heaven we have a lonnnnggg fall here! I just heard today that it is likely to be a mild winter. Feel free to send those thunderstorms over this way! We haven’t had rain in… oh.. TWO MONTHS! he, he. Maybe if all we chronic people focus all our energy together, we CAN control the weather? Oh… wait… we DON’T HAVE ANY ENERGY!! he, he, he.

  2. zoeystorm Says:

    I actually just joined this site after reading some of your blogs, so I wanted to stop by and say thanks. I have fibro too and thought “hey if it maybe helps them out it’ll help me. Worst case scenario I have a place to rant without feeling like all I ever do is complain to my friends, and if no one reads it so be it!” Anyways thats what brought me here so I thought I’d say thanks for giving me the … something to join up. I think fibro ate my word!!!

  3. Ouiser, you make me laugh out loud. Now if we all concentrate…Oh yeah, we can’t concentrate! The only kind of weather I think we can generate is fibrofog. I was gonna send you some rain, but I couldn’t lift the box. Buh-dum!

    Zoeystorm– Hi! Glad you found my site.

  4. duskydi Says:

    Now this is such a small internet world we live in. I was looking for an image for a picture on lack of energy for my freind Joan Harvest. I have just replyed to one of her older posts and it was a post on Depression when she was a quest speaker at Moonbeanmcqueen blog.

    I can’t believe I saw this image of the lady on Google so I just clicked and I read the post and comments and yours truly was there. Moonbeanmuqueen.

    I can’t believe this – What a small world. I’m rushing straigh back to my friend Joan to tell her.


    PS. Hope you feel better soon. I love how you write about your feelings and pain. So understood.

    This is so late in coming, Di, but if you’ve read recent posts on my other blog, you’ll know that things have been quite crazy for me these days, but I did want to let you know how happy I was to read your comments here. Joan is amazing, isn’t she?

    Do you have a blog? I don’t see a link to it. If you do, please give me the address so that I can visit. Hugs to you. I’m so glad you stopped by.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s