A Momentous Occassion

August 24, 2007

paintToday is the day that I finished painting the bathroom. It’s now marked on my calendar, and I will celebrate this date on a yearly basis. Hopefully, I’ll get lots of presents. I’m going to Hallmark to see if they have some announcement cards that I can send out.

This may not sound like such a feat for a bathroom the size of a Saltine box, but for me, it’s the equivalent of performing open heart surgery using only a nail file and some Elmer’s glue. My body isn’t cooperative these days, so I had to work slowly and kind of schedule painting around my energy and pain levels. Also, I’m really bad at the whole wall painting thing, so it took almost ten days to complete this task. Seriously, the room is only about 4.5′ x 5.5′, but for me, it may as well have been the Taj Mahal.

At first, I decided to cheer it up by painting it a sunny yellow color. I didn’t realize how different it would look when I got the paint home, but when I finished, it looked like someone had urinated on all the walls. Ugly and depressing. Tom got the idea of trying topaint roller sponge paint over it, so I tried that. The result was that it looked as though someone, after peeing on the walls, decided to throw blobs of Crisco at them. That Crisco that’s semi-mixed with chunks of fake butter. They haven’t invented the term for this effect, but “vomit-inducing” is close enough.

I went to a different paint store. This one had a little light box where you could hold the sample up to different types of lighting to see how it would actually look. I settled on this blue color. Not something I would normally choose, but it looked really good under the light.

I went home and restarted the project. Here’s how I did it.

  1. Spackled holes in walls.
  2. Taped towel holder, toiler paper holder, cup holder, and toothbrush holder.
  3. Painted walls urine yellow- two coats.
  4. Sponge painted walls with lighter yellow and white.
  5. Painted ceiling white. Two coats.
  6. Painted walls blue, three times to cover the yellow.
  7. Painted trim. Twice.
  8. Repainted places on walls where trim paint got on them.
  9. Repainted trim and ceiling where I splashed blue paint.
  10. Cleaned sink and floor where after poured white paint into a pan that had a hole in it.
  11. Repainted parts of wall where I once again got trim paint on them.
  12. Taped walls next to trim and painted trim again.space saver
  13. Painted door a couple of times.
  14. Sanded medicine cabinet and repainted.Removed tape.
  15. Took a putty knife and removed paint dots from floor, sink, windows.
  16. Scrubbed bathroom.
  17. SINGLE HANDEDLY put together a space saver for over the potty.
  18. Hung one of my paintings over space saver.

Ta-da!!!! It’s done!

To do this project yourself, here’s all you need:

One gallon pee-yellow paint

One gallon white ceiling paint

One quart white trim painthat

One gallon ice blue paint

Spackling paste

Paint rollers: 1 large, 1 for trim

Sea sponge

Corner sea sponge roller

Brushes: Large, small, angled, tiny

Painters tape


Lidoderm Patches, for muscle acheslidoderm

Newspapers for floor

Paint pan: check for holes

Stirring sticks

Screwdriver to remove faceplates. Note: if you paint the wall sockets (as I did) make sure you don’t gook up those little reset buttons (as I did)


Lots of paper towelspills

Various cleaning products

Expendable pants and shirts (several of each)

Baseball cap– (I learned this a little late)

Tranquilizers, alcohol, Tylenol (I didn’t use these, but in hindsight, it may have helped)

Seventeen spare hours– to put together the space saver cabinet.

Total project time: 406 hours

Follow instructions above, and most importantly– have fun!


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